Horticulturist: The family tree is en route to de-root

Horticulturist

The family tree is en route to de-root,
And this leaves me helpless and leave me leafless,
But how can I treat this cutting of the tree -
Can’t water what wants to be free.

You grow so fast and you change real slow,
And over time as time passes I must learn to let go,
And to grow in the same way you choose -
Not to loose or forget but to gain attributes.

But how can I attribute to a cause I don’t embrace,
I’d rather just constrict, and not write, these words I’d erase,
Already many have left, it’s not right for you to do -
How can you be like them, how could you do this too.

I’m left to grow in the shadow, and weep,
Under the weeping willow, the family tree of deceit,
Abandoned and demanded to stay away from wanted freedom -
Disbanded from the love, of being equal now’s defeated.

So take your leave and I’ll be the leafs that you abandon,
This autumn is the time where you choose to fall out,
Growing older, move the pedal, remove the petals and evolve -
Fall apart from what was holding you back all along.

You choose to be alone when I don’t get to choose if I get to stay,
Have no ability to branch out, I can’t get away,
Always said one day we’d make the move together -
But it’s funny when you get the chance you packed your trunk and went on.

So weathered I will be,
I’ll have to endure the season’s changing,
Ever bearing it with the bark, on my regrets, I must bite -
Ever growing in the shadow from the few shimmers of the light.

And the Lord said "Let there be Internet Access

Ever see a 3/8 of a Mile High Way Sign

So after a long Hiatus ... Yes I know my adoring pubic you have missed me. No, no, no, calm down. I'm here. Well as here as here can be Via Blog. Now I won't drag this out not much has changed. Then again if you don't KNOW me, not much is known. Girlfriend (Check), Family (Mostly check, Mitch is moving out), for further information be a friend. But besides that I have internet access so I will no longer have to rely on the kindness of my Wii, Sidekick, or Chris. I so just prefer my Compaq. But hey Dorney was Fucking awesome and tomorrow I'll be bringing Mitch to Hofstra University so he can register and then around the area so he can find an apartment. He no longer has a vehicle.

West Berlin, NJ has the GREATEST Thrift Store.

I'm bored, and I made almost $500 this weekend, dad ... ha, daddy is so getting a Father's Day dinner this Tuesday. (By the by, I had to Google, if "dinner" was spelled"diner" or "dinner" ... I did so by typing "local din..." and waited to see what it suggested I finish my search bar with, but I digress). However, I haven't spent much time with my father, (who is daddy due to the confusing fact he is listed as such in my phone book as such, but my mom is listed as, well mom, again I digress) because of conflicting schedules. However, on this wonderful Father's Day (what ever the word for night after is) when I happen to read Jenn's Blog as well as listen to Asher Roth, I realize how little I share or have shared with my father. Now I don't blame that wonderful man for any of this, it's just true. Pretty much when I was younger he wasn't there much, I mean for sports, he was designated but even times where I injured myself, for the manly DEAL WITH BLOOD things, my Grand Father was designated due to my father's need to work, which is funny because that's the reason I don't see him. And because he's finally getting some booty, however that was LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOG over due. You go dad ... but I digress, hmm I can't stay on track today ... but I digress. The only thing my dad and I pretty much share anymore is our car insurance (Geico ... I just had to switch this creepy stack of money was following me around for like a month), the occasional dinner when I stop by (my Grandfather ... oh my ... makes the greatest sauce known to man, I know, you're thinking everyone says that NO! I thought my mom's was awesome, I was wrong, go eat my Grandfather's sauce), and a conversation pretty much when ever I build something because for some reason I'm see as not only the nonathletic son but for some reason the son that can't build shit, like the son that isn't handy, because I'm a waiter or a college student, I don't know, but anyhow I like to prove to him I can build shit, so I tell him. However when I know I need his help, I ask him. Like for instance, I need to mount a TV this TV



and I need his help, so I asked him to come over he says sure I'll come over. He calls back the next day, and asks that I make sure it's alright with my mother that he come over. Now my mother and father have an amazingly civil relationship, I have seen them fight in 19 years ... once, that was fucking creepy. Anyway, I obeyed his wishes asked my mom, she was for some reason hesitant, but then said yes. She calls back a half an hour later, giving me guide lines on how the house may look and to make sure her door to her bedroom is shut. I agree. Not even another half hour goes by and she calls once more "tell your father not to come I'll have [my husband] do it for you," my reply "no thank you I'd rather it not be hung, I'd rather it just stay the way it is." No here's a side note for all those joining the game late, my Mother's husband who will remain absent of the title stepfather, even in the most confusing of circumstances I will never refer to him as such, is an ass and he is the only reason my father can't help his son, do something that is along the lines of his profession. So my brother is just going to help me, hopefully we're competent enough to pull it off ... poor choice of words ... competent enough to put it up ... and it won't pull off. Yeah, I think that's it.


(Oh by the way My Mother's Husband hasn't spoken to us in years, just encase I'm comming off as a spoiled kid)




Oh and as for the title, about one or two months ago I went the the GREATEST thrift store ever! It was in West Berlin, NJ and I bought a random bag-o-action-figures and a little house-shelf ... it's self-explanatory. They were bought with the intention to combine. Just so you know in this AMAZING bad-o-action-figures (which I only purchased because there was a bendy-flex Red Power Ranger which I know for a fact a friend of mine owned, but I didn't ... must have been like expensive ... so I needed it) it contained not only a Goldar (from Power Ranger) action figurine, but a Space Jam, yes a masterpiece we all know and love that gave us Lola Bunny, action figure. OH, and a mini-Bible (both old and new testament), but that's bot featured.

Yoshi, he'll have to do.

Wow, I know nothing about Anime. In fact on a couple of occasions you could even find me admitting my distaste for the stuff, that however does not stop me from spending near $300 on a weekend of geekage. Now I actually don't hate the stuff I'm just not into it as much as I am Comic Books or Graphic Novels (hate that term, attempting to make comic books sophisticated) ... any who I enjoy the occasional Anime, Death Note, Paranoia Agent, and so on. Something either ludicrous or interestingly-not-DBZ. But I was actually impressed at how much this Anime Convention was about pretty much all spectrums of geekdom and not just Manga. For instance Video Games. OH my, were there gaming items. I found my self bidding, yes bidding not on eBay, but real bidding on pieces of art, be them N.E.S. inspired, still art none-the-less. Sadly I lost, Damn you Kevin, bidder #016. But that didn't stop me from still purchasing around $150 on geek-esk art. Which in turn made me actually inspired me to paint, and I am almost done with what I think looks like what I was actually trying to make which always makes me happy.




Oh and by the way, I am McGiver ... of Cosplay. I made a Yoshi Costume out of a Green shirt, clear tape, red tape, a piece of cardboard, 3 styrofoam cups, and a paper clip. Check it out for yourself. I think I did a pretty good job. Mind you I made my friends costumes as well. And to quote an adorable little 3-year-old (My little brother) "I like your new costume Jay!" So I think that speaks for it self.




P.S. If anyone needs to quench their disco needs there's a great little place in Somerset, NJ by the name of "Parity, The Disco Super Store"

I like the universe, but she messes with my words.

I've rediscovered my love for a little band by the name of Motion City Soundtrack. When working in yet another customerless bartending shift in the Beer Garden I had the brilliant idea to run and get a CD from my car, I got two. One being a regular classic, "Dude Ranch", by blink-182 and a relative unknown, "Commit this to Memory" which is their sophomore album, and a Mark Hoppus (bassist of blink-182) produced album. Now when this CD came out I automatically fell in love with their original single, "Everything is Alright", in my current state which is strangely bleh, even though I've had a rather understandably casual week, I just take everything they say to heart. Almost every song being about the lead singers life which was riddled with wrong decisions and drug use you can feel the emotion in such simply deep lyrics, as well as just insanely catchy tunes. It's just making me think about where I am in life, if I'm happy what I'm doing, why I'm doing it and who I'm with.



"These are the things I think about when I'm alone (without you) ..."



I just wish I knew what could get me going. Oh and I think my disposable camera was warped by the sun because most of the pictures didn't come out. Can that happen if they're kept in heat? Hmm, live and learn, maybe I just needed to flash more. I like to take pictures of pointless things.




"All you have are memories"





I don't know what this is but I
think it looks fucking awesome.

You've Heard of Rapper's Delight? Well, I'm Delightful.

G-d bless Technology.

Rap, now every genre has there exceptions and I'm well aware that many people like "crunk"-rap, as well as anything that is overly gangsta'. But honestly I can't relate, and recently I found a Genre that is just me. Nerdcore. It's rap for the geek in everyone, now I'm not discriminating against gangsta' rap, everyone has their own thing they can relate to, Nerdcore is mine. Now until recently this certain type of rap wasn't very mainstream, it still isn't, but there are many artists that can be seen as having Nerdcore aspects such as early Gym Class Heroes stuff, Lupe Fiasco, or up and coming rapper Asher Roth, some white dude from Pennsylvania. Well with is overload of Nerdcore as well as intelligent relevent rap like the three artists I mentioned, I've been inspired to write, and it isn't much but it's something and that makes be very happy.

(This is it.)

All He Wrote, All I Am

I feel like I don’t have a medium to express,

The way that I feel or the way I want to be,

I’m stuck in a rut and there have been times where I’ve done less -

But this is different in some way, I just can’t see.

I’ve been blinded by the times,

My mind’s eye is in a recession,

My receding hairline, I’m 19,

And balding how depressing.

But that’s just current events to make this a period piece,

I’m not affected by the way the price of the gas likes to increase,

I’m working steadily, and I’ve got nothing wrong in my life -

I guess that is the reason that I can’t really write.

But I don’t want to tempt g-d I just want to be able to be,

Express what I’ve been feeling in a swift flowing rhyme scheme,

See I think of me as a poet and thought not many people know it -

I like to be able to forever be.

It’s a little dream I’ve had like since I was twelve,

I started writing in my notebook about how much I hate myself,

Because of the way my peers made me feel -

And pressure from my Bar Mitzvah.

And now I’m all grown up I’m certainly a man,

Or at least in Jewish standing I think you can understand,

I’m ok with who I am and I’m ok with who I’ll be -

But because of that I have a hard time writing this poetry.

P.S.

Listen to "The Lounge" by Asher Roth.

P.P.S.
New Eminem CD.

...Squirrel!

Art by the Ferry, go to it. I'm not associated with it, however the one guy that tipped me at their fundraiser benefit seemed nice and I thought he could use a little advertisement (and his guests could use a course on how to tip a bartender). So, I saw Pixar's new film today, which went above and beyond my expectations, you could say it went "Up" in my book. ha ha he he, I'm such a kidder, but seriously. "Up" was good it certainly wasn't as strangly happy-yet-depressing as "Short Circuit..." I mean "Wall-e," but it still jerked at all my aww-strings. One thing did stay consistant however, a G-d amoung actors continues his much needed existance in the Pixar world, that actor being John Ratzenberger.

(Who doesn't) Love You Cliff.